Category Archives: Humor

Make sure to lol, lmao, rofl after reading these posts :-)

Rajnikanth Fortune

% curl 'http://hsonline.wordpress.com/2010/10/28/101-rajnikanth-jokes/' |sed -n -e 's,^.*[[:digit:]]\+[[:space:]]*\.[[:space:]]*\([^<]*raja\?i\?ni[^<]\+\).*$,\1\n%,igp'  >rajnikanth
% strfile rajnikanth
"rajnikanth.dat" created
There were 101 strings
Longest string: 190 bytes
Shortest string: 27 bytes
% fortune rajnikanth
Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune rajnikanth
Rajinikanth can speak Braille.
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune rajnikanth
Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune rajnikanth
Rajinikanth can speak Braille.
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune rajnikanth
There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune rajnikanth
Rajnikanth taught Voldemort Parseltongue.
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune rajnikanth
Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.

Courtesy: OldMonk, hsonline.

Zen Koan?

Disciple : O Master! How old art thou ?
Master   : 16

(after 2 years)

Disciple : O Master! How old art thou ?
Master   : 16

(after 2 years)

Disciple : O Master! How old art thou ?
Master   : 16
Disciple : O Master! Please enlighten thy disciple, how could you still be 16 ? When I asked
           you 4 years ago, you were 16 then, and 2 year ago, you were still 16, and even
           now you're still 16.
Master   : Dear disciple, even if you ask this question after 10 years answer will still be
           the same.
Disciple : (confused)
Master   : It is the base that changes.

On hearing this, Disciple was enlightened.

UPDATE: On seeing this, the abbe enlightened.

Soviet Russia Fortune

monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % curl 'http://pastebin.com/download.php?i=9G3Yajss' |sed -e 's,^[[:space:]]*$,%,g' >soviet-russia
  % Total    % Received % Xferd  Average Speed   Time    Time     Time  Current
                                 Dload  Upload   Total   Spent    Left  Speed
100  2540  100  2540    0     0   2637      0 --:--:-- --:--:-- --:--:--  3931
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % strfile soviet-russia
There were 57 strings
Longest string: 82 bytes
Shortest string: 36 bytes
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune soviet-russia
"In Soviet Russia, fish catches YOU!"
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune soviet-russia
cYnic: In Soviet Russia, consequences are the same?
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune soviet-russia
"In Soviet Russia, sentence finishes YOU!!"
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune soviet-russia
"In Soviet Russia, cold catches YOU!!"
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune soviet-russia
"In Soviet Russia, deer hunts YOU!!"
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune soviet-russia
catastrophe: In Soviet Russia, catastrophe messes with Sy.
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune soviet-russia
abbe: In Soviet Russia, Big Brother knows everyone's ASL :(
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune soviet-russia
"In Soviet Russia, bucket kicks YOU!!"
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune soviet-russia
catastrophe: In Soviet Russia, strangers don't ask asl.
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune soviet-russia
"In Soviet Russia, weight gains YOU!!"

You’re retarded. You bet.

Hi Explosm team,

I'm a big fan of your comics, and you guys suck better than Electrolux :p.

Okay, here is a story I think you might like to feature in one of your comic:

Rishi  : Hey Ashish, whats up?
Ashish : Cool man, what about you?

Rishi  : awesome. By the way can you add me to your friend's list?
Ashish : Sorry, not possible man. I already have a guy named Rishi in my friends list.

Rishi  : WTF, so ?
Ashish : If I also added you to my friend's list, I'll get confused.

Rishi  : Dude, you're retarded.
Ashish : You bet :P.


Thank you very much :)

If in future, you notice a similar strip in Cyanide and Happiness, then you know who is the retard behind this.

knew

While reading a paper which deals with kernel stuff, I encountered word knew in a sentence, which I somehow found odd and unknowingly pronounced as kay-new (like some kernel-level memory allocator ;)) in my brain, until few seconds later I realized, its knew (simple past form of know) 😦

Zen Koan ?

(Scenario: D, along with his relative RoD (relativeOf D) went to see a girl for his marriage, quite common in indian cultures)

RoD (commenting about the girl): She is not fair...
Deesl (in his M-x zen-mode): Fair Enough

And after hearing this, RoD is enlightened.

Broken webserver of Google Code

% curl -I http://gentoo-xen-kernel.googlecode.com/files/xen-patches-2.6.31-11.tar.bz2
HTTP/1.1 404 Not Found
Content-Type: text/html; charset=UTF-8
Set-Cookie: PREF=ID=913587349124edb1:TM=1267030254:LM=1267030254:S=gPkLxJgB22UJHzXo; expires=Fri, 24-Feb-2012 16:50:54 GMT; path=/; domain=gentoo-xen-kernel.googlecode.com
Date: Wed, 24 Feb 2010 16:50:54 GMT
Server: codesite_downloads
Content-Length: 1389
X-XSS-Protection: 0
% curl  http://gentoo-xen-kernel.googlecode.com/files/xen-patches-2.6.31-11.tar.bz2 2>/dev/null |file -
/dev/stdin: bzip2 compressed data, block size = 900k

This is really crazy sending 404 to HTTP HEAD requests, while 200 to HTTP GET requests, causing wget to break, which performs HTTP HEAD before HTTP GET to get value of Content-Disposition header.

good admins maintain good mirrors.

Hi to everyone,
After struggling with laziness for long time, I decided to /part it and write something. The spike that caused this is what this post is about.
After struggling with apt-cacher since past 2 hours trying to figure out why the hell it fetches the same files again and again, making my apt-cacher setup worthless, since I decided to use mirrors hosted by HNS and IIT-K which are proudly powered by lighttpd . For those who’re maintaing mirrors of IIT-M, they are safe from my flames, lol.

abbe [x] monte-cristo % ls
abbe [x] monte-cristo % curl -o Release  -I -z Release  http://mirror.cse.iitk.ac.in/ubuntu/dists/karmic/main/binary-i386/Release
Warning: Illegal date format for -z/--timecond (and not a file name).
Warning: Disabling time condition. See curl_getdate(3) for valid date syntax.
  % Total    % Received % Xferd  Average Speed   Time    Time     Time  Current
                                 Dload  Upload   Total   Spent    Left  Speed
  0    94    0     0    0     0      0      0 --:--:-- --:--:-- --:--:--     0
abbe [x] monte-cristo % curl -o Release  -I -z Release  http://mirror.cse.iitk.ac.in/ubuntu/dists/karmic/main/binary-i386/Release
  % Total    % Received % Xferd  Average Speed   Time    Time     Time  Current
                                 Dload  Upload   Total   Spent    Left  Speed
  0    94    0     0    0     0      0      0 --:--:-- --:--:-- --:--:--     0
abbe [x] monte-cristo % cat Release
HTTP/1.1 200 OK
Content-Type: application/octet-stream
Accept-Ranges: bytes
Content-Length: 94
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 2009 14:19:17 GMT
Server: lighttpd/1.4.19

abbe [x] monte-cristo % curl -o Release  -I -z Release  http://mirror.cse.iitk.ac.in/ubuntu/dists/karmic/main/binary-i386/Release
  % Total    % Received % Xferd  Average Speed   Time    Time     Time  Current
                                 Dload  Upload   Total   Spent    Left  Speed
  0    94    0     0    0     0      0      0 --:--:-- --:--:-- --:--:--     0
abbe [x] monte-cristo % cat Release
HTTP/1.1 200 OK
Content-Type: application/octet-stream
Accept-Ranges: bytes
Content-Length: 94
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 2009 14:19:21 GMT
Server: lighttpd/1.4.19

abbe [x] monte-cristo % curl -o Release  -I -z Release  http://mirror.cse.iitk.ac.in/ubuntu/dists/karmic/main/binary-i386/Release
  % Total    % Received % Xferd  Average Speed   Time    Time     Time  Current
                                 Dload  Upload   Total   Spent    Left  Speed
  0    94    0     0    0     0      0      0 --:--:-- --:--:-- --:--:--     0
abbe [x] monte-cristo % cat Release
HTTP/1.1 200 OK
Content-Type: application/octet-stream
Accept-Ranges: bytes
Content-Length: 94
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 2009 14:19:25 GMT
Server: lighttpd/1.4.19

abbe [x] monte-cristo % curl -o Release  -I -z Release  http://ubuntuarchive.hnsdc.com/dists/karmic/main/binary-i386/Release
  % Total    % Received % Xferd  Average Speed   Time    Time     Time  Current
                                 Dload  Upload   Total   Spent    Left  Speed
  0    94    0     0    0     0      0      0 --:--:-- --:--:-- --:--:--     0
abbe [x] monte-cristo % cat Release
HTTP/1.1 200 OK
Content-Type: application/octet-stream
Accept-Ranges: bytes
Content-Length: 94
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 2009 14:19:23 GMT
Server: lighttpd/1.4.19

abbe [x] monte-cristo % curl -o Release  -I -z Release  http://ubuntuarchive.hnsdc.com/dists/karmic/main/binary-i386/Release
  % Total    % Received % Xferd  Average Speed   Time    Time     Time  Current
                                 Dload  Upload   Total   Spent    Left  Speed
  0    94    0     0    0     0      0      0 --:--:-- --:--:-- --:--:--     0
abbe [x] monte-cristo % cat Release
HTTP/1.1 200 OK
Content-Type: application/octet-stream
Accept-Ranges: bytes
Content-Length: 94
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 2009 14:19:28 GMT
Server: lighttpd/1.4.19

abbe [x] monte-cristo % curl -o Release  -I -z Release  http://ubuntuarchive.hnsdc.com/dists/karmic/main/binary-i386/Release
  % Total    % Received % Xferd  Average Speed   Time    Time     Time  Current
                                 Dload  Upload   Total   Spent    Left  Speed
  0    94    0     0    0     0      0      0 --:--:-- --:--:-- --:--:--     0
abbe [x] monte-cristo % cat Release
HTTP/1.1 200 OK
Content-Type: application/octet-stream
Accept-Ranges: bytes
Content-Length: 94
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 2009 14:19:33 GMT
Server: lighttpd/1.4.19

abbe [x] monte-cristo % curl -o Release  -I -z Release  http://archive.ubuntu.com/ubuntu/dists/karmic/main/binary-i386/Release
  % Total    % Received % Xferd  Average Speed   Time    Time     Time  Current
                                 Dload  Upload   Total   Spent    Left  Speed
  0     0    0     0    0     0      0      0 --:--:-- --:--:-- --:--:--     0
abbe [x] monte-cristo % cat Release
HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 2009 14:25:30 GMT
Server: Apache/2.2.8 (Ubuntu)
ETag: "be802d-5e-476ff88b2cd40"

abbe [x] monte-cristo % curl -o Release  -I -z Release  http://archive.ubuntu.com/ubuntu/dists/karmic/main/binary-i386/Release
  % Total    % Received % Xferd  Average Speed   Time    Time     Time  Current
                                 Dload  Upload   Total   Spent    Left  Speed
  0     0    0     0    0     0      0      0 --:--:-- --:--:-- --:--:--     0
abbe [x] monte-cristo % cat Release
HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 2009 14:25:35 GMT
Server: Apache/2.2.8 (Ubuntu)
ETag: "be802d-5e-476ff88b2cd40"

abbe [x] monte-cristo % curl -o Release  -I -z Release  http://archive.ubuntu.com/ubuntu/dists/karmic/main/binary-i386/Release
  % Total    % Received % Xferd  Average Speed   Time    Time     Time  Current
                                 Dload  Upload   Total   Spent    Left  Speed
  0     0    0     0    0     0      0      0 --:--:-- --:--:-- --:--:--     0
abbe [x] monte-cristo % cat Release
HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 2009 14:25:39 GMT
Server: Apache/2.2.8 (Ubuntu)
ETag: "be802d-5e-476ff88b2cd40"

abbe [x] monte-cristo % curl -o Release  -I -z Release  http://ftp.iitm.ac.in/ubuntu/dists/karmic/main/binary-i386/Release
  % Total    % Received % Xferd  Average Speed   Time    Time     Time  Current
                                 Dload  Upload   Total   Spent    Left  Speed
  0     0    0     0    0     0      0      0 --:--:-- --:--:-- --:--:--     0
abbe [x] monte-cristo % cat Release
HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 2009 14:28:06 GMT
Server: Apache/2.0.52 (CentOS)
Connection: close
ETag: "34100d4-5e-88b2cd40"

abbe [x] monte-cristo % curl -o Release  -I -z Release  http://ftp.iitm.ac.in/ubuntu/dists/karmic/main/binary-i386/Release
  % Total    % Received % Xferd  Average Speed   Time    Time     Time  Current
                                 Dload  Upload   Total   Spent    Left  Speed
  0     0    0     0    0     0      0      0 --:--:-- --:--:-- --:--:--     0
abbe [x] monte-cristo % cat Release
HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 2009 14:28:10 GMT
Server: Apache/2.0.52 (CentOS)
Connection: close
ETag: "34100d4-5e-88b2cd40"

WTF is that ? If this is your question, I’m lazy to write about it. So, RTFM curl(1) and If-Modified-Since http header . I want to be a writer, but I guess I’ll only be able to write computer programs 😦 .

I hope (good)? people at HNS and IIT-K will fix this issue…:)

/away In his shell for infinite period of time.

Why UNIX geeks feel the need of wife ?

Since all UNIX geeks possess a large fortune db and according to Law of Jane Austen, It is a universal truth that a single man with a large fortune is in need of a wife..

The world would have been a better place…

If it was hacked in Perl 6