Tag Archives: Humor

Rajnikanth Fortune

% curl 'http://hsonline.wordpress.com/2010/10/28/101-rajnikanth-jokes/' |sed -n -e 's,^.*[[:digit:]]\+[[:space:]]*\.[[:space:]]*\([^<]*raja\?i\?ni[^<]\+\).*$,\1\n%,igp'  >rajnikanth
% strfile rajnikanth
"rajnikanth.dat" created
There were 101 strings
Longest string: 190 bytes
Shortest string: 27 bytes
% fortune rajnikanth
Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune rajnikanth
Rajinikanth can speak Braille.
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune rajnikanth
Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune rajnikanth
Rajinikanth can speak Braille.
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune rajnikanth
There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune rajnikanth
Rajnikanth taught Voldemort Parseltongue.
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune rajnikanth
Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.

Courtesy: OldMonk, hsonline.

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Zen Koan?

Disciple : O Master! How old art thou ?
Master   : 16

(after 2 years)

Disciple : O Master! How old art thou ?
Master   : 16

(after 2 years)

Disciple : O Master! How old art thou ?
Master   : 16
Disciple : O Master! Please enlighten thy disciple, how could you still be 16 ? When I asked
           you 4 years ago, you were 16 then, and 2 year ago, you were still 16, and even
           now you're still 16.
Master   : Dear disciple, even if you ask this question after 10 years answer will still be
           the same.
Disciple : (confused)
Master   : It is the base that changes.

On hearing this, Disciple was enlightened.

UPDATE: On seeing this, the abbe enlightened.

Soviet Russia Fortune

monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % curl 'http://pastebin.com/download.php?i=9G3Yajss' |sed -e 's,^[[:space:]]*$,%,g' >soviet-russia
  % Total    % Received % Xferd  Average Speed   Time    Time     Time  Current
                                 Dload  Upload   Total   Spent    Left  Speed
100  2540  100  2540    0     0   2637      0 --:--:-- --:--:-- --:--:--  3931
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % strfile soviet-russia
There were 57 strings
Longest string: 82 bytes
Shortest string: 36 bytes
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune soviet-russia
"In Soviet Russia, fish catches YOU!"
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune soviet-russia
cYnic: In Soviet Russia, consequences are the same?
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune soviet-russia
"In Soviet Russia, sentence finishes YOU!!"
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune soviet-russia
"In Soviet Russia, cold catches YOU!!"
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune soviet-russia
"In Soviet Russia, deer hunts YOU!!"
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune soviet-russia
catastrophe: In Soviet Russia, catastrophe messes with Sy.
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune soviet-russia
abbe: In Soviet Russia, Big Brother knows everyone's ASL :(
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune soviet-russia
"In Soviet Russia, bucket kicks YOU!!"
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune soviet-russia
catastrophe: In Soviet Russia, strangers don't ask asl.
monte-cristo.france!abbe:~ % fortune soviet-russia
"In Soviet Russia, weight gains YOU!!"

Why UNIX geeks feel the need of wife ?

Since all UNIX geeks possess a large fortune db and according to Law of Jane Austen, It is a universal truth that a single man with a large fortune is in need of a wife..

The world would have been a better place…

If it was hacked in Perl 6

Fastest IDE

Q: Hi everyone. Which of these is the fastest IDE ? Emacs, Eclipse, NetBeans or Ultra 5 ?
A: Ultra 5. Its maximum speed is 100 MB/s.